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Municipal Matters: Letter To The Editor #1

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This is waaaaaaay off topic compared to the rest of the things I like to talk about, but we’ll see how this goes. If this kind of stuff takes off, maybe I’ll call the series “Municipal Matters.” I wrote this not too long ago in response to a tragic drunk driving accident that happened here in Tippletown Manitowoc, WI. It started as a serious concept for a letter to the editor…but I wasn’t ballsy enough to mail it. It’s a velleity of a shot at pathopoeia (I know “velleity” doesn’t really fit right there, grammatically speaking, but I just wanted to use it in a sentence):

My Dear, Daaahling Editor,

Consider the impracticality of the Tavern Leaguers and area publicans shutting off the taps most nights of the week several hours before the statute mandated bar close because most of their patrons are already intoxicated. The lost profits to be made from those who imbibe 75% of their calories in Shenanigans glasses after midnight! And the kvetching and whinging over denied drink that would beset our communities!

Notwithstanding, none of these are valid reasons to break state law. State statute 125.07(2) specifically states that it is illegal to give, serve, or sell alcohol to someone who is already intoxicated, though this statute is rarely used. Why am I, a private, if iconoclastic citizen, concerned with this instance of heteropraxy on the part of Wisconsin’s municipalities? Because, as John Donne once quipped, no man is an island, I am involved in mankind, and every man’s death diminishes me.

Given the recent, fatal accident in Manitowoc, one is perplexed by the well-known active pursuit of pot peddlers, drunk drivers, and sellers to the underage of alcohol and tobacco. Is there no sting for the bar tender, salesperson, employer who willingly sells or gives alcohol to the already intoxicated, whether out of avarice or cowardice? Who shall rouse our government from its ignoble torpor?

Sincerely,

The Lord

Photo Mar 18, 8 48 30 PM

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